When Tommy was alive, he constantly worried about how I would survive without his constant guidance.
He left me a manual in 6 point font with all the important points capitalized, underlined and in red. Apparently 95 percent of the manual is important points. Thankfully, it is carefully indexed. This weekend I found myself quite overwhelmed, stressed and way out of my league. I looked up "IF EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG" and it took me to a section that started out "I TOLD YOU IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS NOT TO LET KITTENS IN THE HOUSE." This was crossed out and instead there is a single word: CHUMP.
I thought my fosters were calling me "A CHAMP," but apparently purring is designed to cover up all of the nasty things kittens are saying.
You can see the evil emanating from this kitten. This is not from Photoshop, but merely how a camera captures evil rays. Over the weekend, Lizzie the Queen Mother fell ill and I had to separate her from her kittens. At that point, the fosters went from taking ownership of a bathroom to taking over a bathroom, the upstairs hallway and a small bedroom.
Meanwhile Lizzie got so sick she had to go back to the local shelter for care and treatment. She had an abscess from a wound in her abdomen (of an unknown origin..except none of the kittens have an alibi). You may feel sorry for her except I am the one left with the monstrous trio and I am the one covered in poo and goo.
And just to complicate things, while Lizzie was at the shelter, she decided to foster a 3-day old kitten because she was apparently getting nostalgic for the good old days. This means that when she returns to my foster care, she will take over the downstairs where she will be tending to a new foster of her own.
So if any of you know what Tommy would have suggested for getting me out of this, I would love to know given that part of the manual has been heavily redacted by the kittens.